The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Nov. 6th, 2012 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bedsitter23If you haven't been to the polls yet, you might be surprised to see Santa Claus on your ballot.
LJ user darkwaver found this on Maryland's practice ballot:
However, it's all true. Santa Claus is running for President in 15 states.
Santa (nee Thomas O'Connor) is facing his second election, in which he is campaigning largely through social media, and unsurprisingly, has a children first platform.
Santa says he visited every governor's office from 2005 to 2007 and always got a good reception (except when he visited Mike Huckabee).
For reasons I am unsure of, folk singer Tracy Chapman is his running mate.
Santa has a website, of course, but sadly, it looks like he has withdrawn and is endorsing Jill Stein.
Of course, I am not surprised, here's a list of reasons I would not vote for Mr. Claus.
-Santa lives a whole year on one night's work. How does he pull that off? I demand to see his W2.
-Although he can surely see Russia from his house, Santa's residence isn't located in the US (Greenland owns the North Pole, don't they?). Worse, I always heard the first appearances of Santa came from Holland and Germany. The birthers would have a field day.
-Reindeer pull the sleigh? Animal right activists aren't going to vote for him.
-When's the last time someone with white hair was in the Oval Office. Santa needs some Just for Men, or he's likely to have the same fate as John McCain and Walter Mondale.
-When I grew up, kids got solid handcrafted (by elves presumably) toys. Now every child I know gets toys that were made in China under the tree. How can we trsut a businessman who outsources jobs like that.
-Santa gives presents to all the good little girls and boys. Sounds a bit like socialism to me.
-He knows when you are sleeping? The Patriot Act-fearing libertarians are going to have some trouble with that.
It's a shame of course, that such a successful entrepreneur and outsider might have some good ideas, but it was obvious that Claus in 2012 was doomed from the start.
LJ user darkwaver found this on Maryland's practice ballot:
However, it's all true. Santa Claus is running for President in 15 states.
Santa (nee Thomas O'Connor) is facing his second election, in which he is campaigning largely through social media, and unsurprisingly, has a children first platform.
Santa says he visited every governor's office from 2005 to 2007 and always got a good reception (except when he visited Mike Huckabee).
For reasons I am unsure of, folk singer Tracy Chapman is his running mate.
Santa has a website, of course, but sadly, it looks like he has withdrawn and is endorsing Jill Stein.
Of course, I am not surprised, here's a list of reasons I would not vote for Mr. Claus.
-Santa lives a whole year on one night's work. How does he pull that off? I demand to see his W2.
-Although he can surely see Russia from his house, Santa's residence isn't located in the US (Greenland owns the North Pole, don't they?). Worse, I always heard the first appearances of Santa came from Holland and Germany. The birthers would have a field day.
-Reindeer pull the sleigh? Animal right activists aren't going to vote for him.
-When's the last time someone with white hair was in the Oval Office. Santa needs some Just for Men, or he's likely to have the same fate as John McCain and Walter Mondale.
-When I grew up, kids got solid handcrafted (by elves presumably) toys. Now every child I know gets toys that were made in China under the tree. How can we trsut a businessman who outsources jobs like that.
-Santa gives presents to all the good little girls and boys. Sounds a bit like socialism to me.
-He knows when you are sleeping? The Patriot Act-fearing libertarians are going to have some trouble with that.
It's a shame of course, that such a successful entrepreneur and outsider might have some good ideas, but it was obvious that Claus in 2012 was doomed from the start.
