Adventures of a Battleground State voter- "Canadians. They walk among us" edition

In Iowa, it's close with the latest quote I have heard, Obama up by eight-tenths.

Meanwhile, Iowa's Secretary of State Matt Schultz is on a crusade to purge, 3,500 people off Iowa's voter's roll.

I am going to err in Schultz's side (a Republican) and say he's doing this for purely good intentions, and not because he is acting like someone who is in a mad dash to try and remove as many Latinos as possible out of the voting population in order to tilt the ballot over to Romney.

Sure, Schultz himself says that voter fraud isn't a problem in Iowa, and indeed voter fraud cases do seem minimal.  Still, Schultz is a man on a mission, and although the courts seem to have prevented Schultz's goal (requiring picture ids to vote) from affecting November's election, I wouldn't count Schultz completely out yet.  (Schultz is a colorful fellow who earlier in the year, said he was being framed by a Democratic strategist who was trying to make it looked like Schultz took cash to endorse Santorum). 

Indeed, three western foriegners-portraying-Iowans were arrested last week (2 Canadians, 1 Mexican).

Canadians...  It's time we put the America back in North America.

i don't really care about voter id laws except 1) I really hate people who post about it on Facebook and 2) I am not sure if it's all as many as Democrats as you think.

Still credit for Strawn's dogged determination. 

He almost gets as much credit for working hard to get Romney elected as Americans For Prosperity.

That PAC is trying to get Romney elected by offering free gas.

Indeed, in Eastern Iowa, AFP at two Kum-and-Gos offered gas up at the price it was when Obama took office.

Cars waited in line for $1.84/gallon gas, surely the biggest and best stunt I have seen in some time, in order to say things aren't better now than they were 4 years ago.

Not sure if it shifted any votes (Coralville being nearthe University of Iowa, and the bluest county in the state), but I am sure it was popular.

I am also told the anti-Obama film 2016 was screening in Western Iowa and those local GOP members were offering cake and punch outside the theater, but somehow that isn't as effective as cheap gas, no matter what Jim Gaffigan says.

First Fantasy Football Post f 2012

I haven't posted about Fantasy Football yet.  What's up with that?

Oh yeah, I am terrible.

Still, here goes.

The Saluki Dawgs (2-1) -I drafted late, and so went with a total offbeat strategy.  I would draft the two top receivers in the game (Calvin Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald) and then draft every random running back I could find.  Results have not been convincing either way, though Calvin Johnson is surely as good as anybody in the fantasy game.  Also, because of injuries, i had to start a guy named Colby Fleener last week.

The Iowa Caucuses (1-2)  Interestingly, ESPN gave my draft class an A+, which helps feed my ego as that I am as good at that this "sport" as anyone.  That said, my #1 pick was Chris Johnson and my team is gawdawful squeaking out one pitiful 65-57 win last week.  Still, I feel I've picked up two strong free agents (Andre Brown and Danny Amendola) and never consider myself counted out.  That said, I think I might actually bench Chris Johnson this week, which will probably bite me, but I can't see playing him.

Your reward for reading my Fantasy post is from Bill Simmons (and you should probably know QB Brandon Weeden made an epically terrible debut in Week 1)

And now, for your reading pleasure, a list of performances that are better than Brandon Weeden's QB rating from Sunday (5.1 out of 158.3, 3.2%)

• Caddyshack II's Rotten Tomatoes rating (8 out of 100)
• Michael Jordan's 1994 Batting Average with the Birmingham Barons (.202)
• Eli Manning's "Man Coverage" rating in Madden 13 (8 out of 99)
• Number of bullets the cow from Me, Myself and Irene survived (9)
• Number of kayaking medals Hungary won in the 2012 Summer Olympics (6)
• Master P's Zombie Shuffle score on Dancing With The Stars (8 out of 30)
• Number of disambiguation entries in Wikipedia for the word "panini" (7)
• Shaq's career 3-point percentage (1 of 22, 4.5%)
• Number of days David Arquette was the WCW World Heavyweight Champion (12)
• Nick Swisher's Swinging Strike Percentage … as a Pitcher (8%)
• And finally, Colt McCoy's worst-ever QB Rating (27.0)

Al Bedsitter Exclusive **If the election were held today, Mitt Romney would win** 100% Guaranteed**

I told you I had a way of predicting who would win the November General Election.  Here it is.  I guarantee it is the most accurate barometer available.

Here is some quick background.  When i was a kid, I would pass the time during family road trips by making a tally of the make of every car that my Dad passed or was passed by.

In those days, GM almost always was #1 at the end of the day, and just as sure, Ford was #2.  Chrysler/Dodge was often #3, and in those days, much of the time AMC/Jeep was #4.  Nissan/Datsun, Honda, Volkswagen, Mazda, and Toyota might creep into the top 4 or 5 (I suspect Toyota would fare a lot better if I did this these days) and if we ventured into richer suburbs, Volvo, BMW or Mercedes might make the list.

I came to the conclusion that I could do the same with bumper stickers today, and I bet I could predict the winner of the election within .01%.

Now, why this doesn't seem scientific.  I assure you it is.  You see, I live in Iowa, the state that goes first in the nation during primary season, a fact that backs my theory up, and a battleground state in the fall, once again proving its importance.

Now, I drive through the most populous city, a mixture of the urban Blue and the rural Red, with a variety of hipsters, millionaires, soccer moms, nascar dads, the very old, teens and a neverending variety of cultural groups.

Oh, not everyone who votes will put a bumper sticker on their car; but let's face it, it's those with bumper stickers on their cars that will likely vote.

And.... Mitt Romney won.  Book it.  Done.

Here's my week's tally:

Wednesday: Romney 1
Thursday: Obama 1
Friday: Romney 1, Obama 1
Weekend Trip to Ames: Obama 1
Walk around the Neighborhood: Romney yard-sign 1
Monday: Romney 2, Gary Johnson 1
Tuesday: 0

Totals : Romney 5 or 55%, Obama 3 or 33%, Johnson 1 or 11%

Others receiving votes: Ron Paul 2, Bush/Cheney 1

I'll take questions.

Are you sure you saw all the bumper stickers?  Isn't there a possibility you missed a few?

I'm fairly sure that I caught them all, though I suppose there is a margin of error.  Usually while I was driving, I was also smoking, eating, shaving, buying and selling stocks, drinking, dealing cards, scanning radio stations, reading and catnapping.  However, I feel fairly certain, I got them all.

Well, if this methodology works, then wouldn't the local FM DJ win the election?  There are way more radio station bumper stickers than political ones.

I am not arguing that at all.  Radio personalities are way more popular than politicians.

What about I vote Pro-life/I vote for Children/ I am a smoker and I vote bumper stickers and the like?

Well, I don't make assumptions,  so I didn't take an anti-abortion sticker as a Romney voter, just as I wouldn't take someone with an 'equality' sticker as being pro-Obama.  It's a slippery slope.  Procedurally, I would tag "Defeat Obama" as a pro-Romney vote (as he is undoubtedly the #1 contender to Obama), but it ends there. 

Oh, it would be easy to do, but where does it stop?  "Vote for (Republican Senator)Grassley" might seen obvious to connect the dots, but what about Nascar stickers?  Phish and Dead stickers? NRA stickers? People who listen to Rock Radio?  Talk radio fans? People who own Poodles? Doberman owners?  Jesus Fish? Darwin Statements? Union Worker stickers? Vegetarians? Get any closer and I will flick a booger on your windshield?  See, it's harder than you think.

Did you really see a Gary Johnson sticker?

Yep.

How many Mitt stickers were on SUVs?

Most, if not all of them.  i wish I had kept track.

So this is a can't fail predictor?

Absolutely.  I 100% guarantee that if the election were held today, Romney would win.  Absolutely guarantee it.


Ok, but Real Clear Politics has Obama ahead, and it's not even close.  Romney will be lucky to do as well as McCain, if this keeps up.  Explain yourself.

Look, I 100% guarantee the accuracy of my methodology.

Now, there's still a month left before Election Day.  If Romney loses and Obama is re-elected in November; well, that's not on me.  That is really on him, isn't it?